


Why You Shouldn't Summon Demons In Your Living Room at Three pm (You might summon your friend)

by AndrewIsBored



Series: What A Weird/Wonderful World - Ryan and Shane [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Demon Shane Madej, Demon Summoning, Demons, Gen, Protective Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara Being an Idiot, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25170157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrewIsBored/pseuds/AndrewIsBored
Summary: Me and my lovely partner, Jae, wrote this together <3-Ryan stared blankly at Shane for what seemed to be eons. Shane stared back as well, equally as shocked by the recent turn of events, a bit of mustard dripping from his lip and back onto his hot dog. Neither Ryan nor Shane knew where to go from here, Shane wished he could just up and leave but, well… He was stuck…In a summoning circle…That Ryan had drawn…In the middle of his living room.Oh boy, this will be fun… Shane thought as he swallowed some of his delicious lunch, he calmly wiped the mustard and relish from his lips and cleared his throat. “I can explain-”“What the fuck!?”---Ryan draws a summoning circle, Shane really just wants to go back to his barbecue
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej
Series: What A Weird/Wonderful World - Ryan and Shane [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823404
Comments: 11
Kudos: 354





	Why You Shouldn't Summon Demons In Your Living Room at Three pm (You might summon your friend)

Ryan stared blankly at Shane for what seemed to be eons. Shane stared back as well, equally as shocked by the recent turn of events, a bit of mustard dripping from his lip and back onto his hot dog. Neither Ryan nor Shane knew where to go from here, Shane wished he could just up and leave but, well… He was stuck…

In a summoning circle… 

That Ryan had drawn…

In the middle of his living room.

_ Oh boy, this will be fun… _ Shane thought as he swallowed some of his delicious lunch, he calmly wiped the mustard and relish from his lips and cleared his throat. “I can explain-”

“What the  _ fuck _ !?” Ryan screamed, seemingly snapped out of his trance, he frantically backed away from Shane and hit the wall. 

“Okay, I know this looks bad but-” Shane was, quite rudely, interrupted by Ryan splashing the contents of a water bottle into his face. He blinked a few times, and watched as Ryan’s eyes widened, lazily spitting the water out of his mouth and wiping it away from his eyes.  _ Great _ , he had  _ just _ showered. 

“Fuck, shit!” Ryan cursed, he dropped the bottle on the ground and picked up a rather large container of salt.

“First of all, rude. Second of all, that isn’t holy water. And third of all, holy water doesn’t really-” He was once again cut off when an avalanche of salt was thrown at his face, he sighed in deep resignation and shook his head, taking a bite of his hotdog.  _ Wow, that’s pretty good with extra salt… _ He snapped himself out of that train of thought.

“Holy water-” He continued cautiously, “-Doesn’t work on higher demons, and neither does salt.”

“You’re- you’re-” Ryan spluttered, scared out of his mind, Shane rolled his eyes.

“A d-d-d-d- _ Demon _ !?” Shane mocked, then went back to normal. “Yes, I am, now can you please let me out?”

“No!” Ryan asserted, gaining a semblance of his courage back. “I’m not letting you out until you explain what the fuck just happened!”

“As much as I would love to, this nice little summoning circle you drew is screwing with my head… and you just poured water and salt on my face, I think you kinda owe me one.”

Ryan eyed him carefully, looking him up and down, he looked and acted and sounded exactly like the Shane he knew and loved. With his long spindly legs clad in ugly khaki shorts, a pair of disgustingly neon green sunglasses over his hair, and mustard and wet clumps of salt staining his obnoxious orange and red hawaiian shirt. Ryan set down the salt container, now knowing it was useless, and looked Shane in the eyes.

“Fine.” He said hesitantly, “But I have one condition!”

“What is your condition, Ryan?” He asked tiredly, he wasn’t kidding when he said the summoning circle was messing with his head, he was going to get a migraine soon.

“You  _ cannot  _ eat my soul.” He said seriously, pointing his finger at Shane with narrowed eyes. Shane looked at Ryan, who was completely and utterly serious, and burst out into uncontrolled laughter.

“What?” Ryan asked, going pink in the face from embarrassment. “It’s a valid request!”

“I- ha- you- you thought-!” He wheezed as he laughed, and slapped his knees like it was the funniest goddamn thing to have ever happened to him. “You thought I was going to eat your  _ soul _ !?” 

“Well… yeah…” Ryan mumbled, Shane had dropped his hotdog on the ground, and there were tears streaming down his face.

“H- holy hell, Ry…” He slowly stifled his laughter and wiped a tear from his eyes. “That’s- that’s not how demons work.” 

“Well… How do they work?” He asked, Shane shrugged.

“Not sure about the details, I know it involves a lot of contracts and stuff, but I’ve never taken a soul.” He explained, then burst into giggles again. “Thought I was gonna eat your soul…”

“Shut up!” Ryan protested, “How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t?”

“Well, for starters, I’m your best friend, and eating your best friend’s soul is kind of a no-no.” He reminded him. “Can you please let me out now? I think I’m starting to blister.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows as Shane lifted his arm to see, sure enough, his skin was red and bubbling. “Holy shit! I’m so sorry! Fuck, give me one minute.” 

Ryan grabbed a knife from his kitchen and rushed back into the room, almost slipping, and not noticing how Shane smacked his head off the barrier trying to reach out to catch him. “Did no one tell you not to run with knives?”

“Shush.” Ryan mumbled, he held up his phone, and Shane blanched when he realised that Ryan had found the summoning circle via  _ fucking wiki-how _ . He was pretty lucky that it was Shane he’d summoned, he wasn’t sure how Ryan would handle a real big bad. He shuddered at the thought and tried to push it away, watching as Ryan mumbled some words in what sounded vaguely like latin. Actually, was that greek? Shane’s head was starting to spin, it was getting hard to hear.

“Liberabo eum!” Ryan said the last part loudly, and to Shane’s surprise, his pronunciation wasn’t too far off. The oppressive feeling of the summoning circle quickly dissipated, and Shane let out a sigh of relief, plopping down tiredly on Ryan’s couch.

“So-” Shane decided it was his turn to interrupt Ryan.

“Care to explain why you were drawing summoning circles?” He asked casually, taking a half empty can of coke from Ryan’s coffee table and sipping it. Ryan watched in disbelief as Shane’s face and body cleaned itself before his eyes, and the bubbling rash on his arm disappeared.

“Care to explain why the fuck it summoned  _ you _ ?” He shot back, Shane hummed and set down Ryan’s drink. Well, he guessed it was Shane’s drink now actually, he didn’t want to share a coke with a demon, who knows what might happen? What if it’s some sort of secret contract or spell? Then again, he’s shared drinks with Shane before. Oh god… did he sell his soul to Shane?!

“Ry?” Shane snapped his fingers in front of his friend’s face. “You still with me?”

“Explain.” He demanded, Shane scoffed and sat back down.

“I  _ was  _ explaining, then you decided to wander off into dreamland.” He sighed. “It’s fine, I’ll just explain again. So, I’m a demon. Hundred percent. I got the horns, tail, black eyes, and wings to prove it.”

“You… You’re a demon…” Ry suddenly began to absorb this information, and he sat down dazedly next to Shane.

“Uh… Ryan? Are you okay?” He asked, deciding against his usual ‘hand on shoulder’ move.

Ryan was silent for a moment as he thought, and Shane knew he was thinking, he had this thinking face on. His eyes were darting back and forth, and his face was resting on his fist, his eyebrows furrowed. He looked a little constipated honestly.

“So, are ghosts real?” He suddenly asked, Shane blinked at him, but Ryan, once again, was completely serious.

“Did… that’s the first thing you ask?” He blurted incredulously. “Not ‘hey, is hell real too?’- it is by the way. Or ‘Say, do you have any Cool Magic Demon Powers?’ or ‘Hey, does that man you’re a fallen angel?’ or-”

“Okay! Okay! Stupid question, I got it.” Ryan apologized, putting his hands up in surrender. “But like… are they?”

“Just because you asked again I’m not answering.”

“Wait-”

“But-” Shane cut off, giving Ryan a sincere look. “-I will answer any other questions you have… within reason.” 

“Right. Okay…” He bit his lip and looked around the room awkwardly as Shane awaited his questions.

“Actually, I have a question first.” Shane admitted. “Were you  _ really  _ trying to summon a demon alone in your living room at one in the afternoon? Using _ wiki-how _ ?”

“It was actually MyFirstSpellbook.com.” He mumbled sheepishly. “I didn’t think it’d actually work! I was just testing it out to see if it’d be good for a video!”  
“You were-” Shane rubbed his temples and groaned. “Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable… Are you crazy? What if some other demon came through there? Huh? Like an actually evil one instead of some annoying asshole like me?”

“Well…” He held up the water bottle he’d splashed on Shane. “I had this?”

Shane stared at him for a solid thirty seconds as he felt his metaphorical soul re-descend back into hell. “Y’know what? I’m too tired to explain how awful of an idea that was, do you have any Lacroix?”

“Do I  _ what _ ?”

“Lacroix.” He repeated. “It helps with the whole ‘post summoning’ thing.”

“I feel fine.” Ryan assured, Shane felt like smacking him.

“For  _ me _ , dumbass.” He muttered.

“Oh, yeah that makes more sense… let me check…” He stood up from the couch and left shane with his migraine as he headed to the kitchen. Shane calmly picked up one of Ryan’s decorative pillows, and proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs into it.  
How in the name of literal Lucifer did he end up befriending the absolute stupidest human on the planet? Seriously. Of all the little sacks of meat running around he had to pick the one that was A; terrified of the supernatural. B; a giant smartass (Like himself). And C; smart enough to successfully perform and ancient and arcane summoning ritual, yet just dumb enough to actually _try it_. How in the hell Ryan had managed to survive this long was a mystery to Shane, well, not quite. He always kept an ear out for his friend, scared off any negative entities before they got too close, tried to keep his friend close to his side on site, etc.

I mean, seriously, Shane left him alone for two days.  _ Two days _ . And the guy manages to find a real summoning ritual, learns it, and then actually does it and summon’s Shane’s sorry ass right back. Now that he was thinking about it, he was kind of impressed, incredibly dumbfounded, but impressed. He shook his head, the poor tourist he was talking to in Hawaii must be so confused…

“You’re in luck.” Ryan told Shane, he tossed a can to him and walked in with a beer for himself. “My friend stopped by the other day and I grabbed some for him.”

“Thanks…” he mumbled, he took a sip and made a disgusted face, then downed the entire thing. “Much better… it tasted like someone laid a banana next to a cup of normal sparkling water, but still.”

“Right.” Ryan snorted. “So, I have a question.”

“Shoot.” Shane encouraged, stretching his arms and laying back. “I’m an open book.”

“Like… demons… they’re immortal, right?” 

Shane’s grin faltered briefly. “Pretty much…”

“So… how old are you?” Ryan asked curiously, Shane shrugged.

“Lost count. Probably… Jeez, lemme think… uh, when were Cain and Abel around?”

“C-Cain and Abel?” Ryan managed.

“Yeah…” He smirked. “Cause I was born  _ way  _ after them.”

He chuckled as Ryan scowled and elbowed him. “Seriously, how old are you?”

“Oh, I don't know… I think I’m around a thousand and thirty or so by now.” He hummed to himself. “Yeah… that sounds about right…” 

“Holy shit…” Ryan gasped. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, I’m not that old for a demon.”

“You’re pretty fucking old, dude.” 

“Yeah, for a human. In demon terms… eh.”

“Eh?” Ryan pressed. “Is that an exact estimate or?”

“About your age.” Shane elaborated. “You’re oddly calm about this, other than your first reaction. I expected a bit more…”

“A bit more what?”

“I don’t know. Screaming, throwing things, trying to stab me with a cross, calling Father Thomas. Anything.” He shrugged. “Not that I’m disappointed or anything.”

“So… what can you do?” 

“Hmm?”

“Like.” Ryan shifted on the couch, tucking his legs under himself as he faced Shane. “Can you… use telekinesis, manipulate matter, influence people… stuff like that?”

“Hmm, good question.” Shane grinned slyly at him. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

“C’mon, you said you’d answer my questions.” Ryan complained, looking and sounding like a petulant child.

“I did say that…” Shane sighed. “Okay… I can move things with my mind, I can teleport, I can give people nightmares, I can-” He stopped suddenly, squinting at Ryan. “Are you taking  _ notes _ ?”

“Is… Is that not allowed?” Ryan asked sheepishly, Shane shook his head.

“Listen, I know I played this off like it’s no big deal, but if anyone finds out about me… I could be in danger,  _ you _ could be in danger. I left hell for a reason, and if anyone from my past finds I'm here…”

“Oh…” Ryan trailed off, setting down the notepad. “Why are you here?”

“It’s a long, long story.” He sighed. “One I’m not particularly fond of sharing.”

“Right, sorry.” 

“Maybe one day.” Shane told him. “Any other questions? I’ve got a barbeque to get to.”

“Uh… Oh.” Ryan nodded, then bit his lip. “You totally don’t have to answer this but… Is Shane your real name?”

He stared at Ryan for a long time, eyes completely blank and expression even blanker, though he was drowning in thought. 

“No,” he said finally. “And I hope you never figure my real one out.”

“Why?” 

“Names are a powerful thing, Ryan… it’s very dangerous to have your name be known.”

“I would never hurt you.” Ryan promised, Shane smiled.

“I know you wouldn’t, Ry. but if the wrong person found out that you know my real name… they might try to force it out of you.”

“Oh.” He stared at his feet for a couple of minutes, picking at the couch’s surface, Shane really had to go soon. 

He stared at his watch and sighed. “Hey, Ryan?”

“Yeah?” He looked up, tilting his head. “What?”

“You wanna get some barbeque?” It was a hopeful request, a simple question, with far more weight behind it than Shane was comfortable with. It was a peace offering, a promise that this would change nothing, an offer to go back to the way they were.

Ryan gave him a look, then sighed. “Yeah. I guess.”

Shane smiled, and they hooked arms as they walked out of Ryan’s apartment, leaving the summoning circle behind. Three facts had been laid out in front of them. Ryan was an idiot who drew summoning circles for fun, Shane was a full blooded demon from hell, and together, no matter what, they would always,  _ always _ be the Ghoul Boys.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this! Kudos to my incredible partner for writing this with me, neither of us can remember who did most of the work, but i think it was him lol.  
> He doesn't have an account on here but he said it was okay for me to post it <3 please send him lots of love through me!


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